Angry elephant herd charges moped rider, protests.Drive Hot News

A lone moped rider in Thailand was forced off his motorbike by an angry and very loud elephant herd, prompting the man to begin begging and/or praying that the animals leave him and his moped alone by the side of the road

Think you should keep your husband’s name when you divorce?Drive Hot News

Thelma and I met recently at our doctor’s waiting room – it was the first time I’d seen her after we left secondary school all those decades ago. Deep in the excitement of catching up on those lost years, the receptionist called out brightly: “Mrs. Johnson?” Thelma was on her feet without hesitation, even though she’d confessed to me earlier she’d been divorced longer than she could remember. As she left the consulting room, we arranged to meet up and exchanged numbers. I really don’t look forward to these “do you remember when” moments and seldom hook up with past acquaintances

I meet up casually but was please when Thelma got in touch, she was having a little get-together at her place and invited me over. I was glad to take up her offer.

It was definitely nice being friends again and when next we met over ‘buka’ lunch, she wanted to know how easy it was for me to transit from my maiden name to my married name only to go back to my maiden name. She didn’t wait for an answer. “When my husband and I split up in 1998, after almost 25 years together, I kept his name for practical reasons,” she told me. “During our married life, I had become reasonably well known as an actress and it seemed professional suicide to revert to my original name, a name nobody recognised. So, against my feminist principles, I had little choice but to stay with a surname that bore absolutely no relation to my status or lifestyle. I was, and would remain, a single woman stuck with a married name, even though I called myself Miss on official documents.

“When the children were little, it made things neat and easy for us all to have the same surname, especially when travelling as a family. Now they’re fully grown and doing well in their chosen professions and my sacrifice seems to have been worth it. You watch all these border security series on the TV of women being stopped at airports because they have a different surname to their children and have had to explain at great length that they really are their mothers. Border officials are, of course, worried about trafficking, but for many women these days, it is an unforeseen consequence of hanging on to your maiden name.

“When I got married in the early seventies, I thought it was a legal requirement for women to take their husband’s surname. It was only much later I learned it was merely a custom and never enshrined in law. But at the time, women who kept their own names were virtually non-existent and considered odd. Didn’t they want to be married? When I got married all those years ago, 1 had not chalked up any achievements whatsoever, so it seemed 1 had nothing to lose by taking my husband’s name for all purposes. Little did 1 know my career would blossom to the point that 1 would bitterly regret not hanging onto my own name, at least professionally.”

These days, it’s common for women to revert to their maiden names on divorce, shaking off the one associated with an ex. Yet some hang onto their ex’s name for years. Sinatu, 45 and a medical doctor stuck to her ex’s name for eight years and only changed to her current name when she remarried. “I stuck with my ex husband’s surname because my two daughters, who were in  secondary school then, felt strongly about it. Now that they’re grown up and doing their own thing, they don’t seem to care.

“I thought briefly of changing to my maiden name when my ex remarried, which meant there would be two of us hanging on to his surname; leading to a sort of identity crisis! He didn’t seem to care but I was fortunate to meet my current husband. My ex doesn’t really get along with him and it would be  nasty of me to combine two married names – afteralI, I wouldn’t have been the first to     ~have done that!”

“Some of my divorce friends have reverted to their maiden names though a few still cling to the surnames of their ex. One or two have stuck to their maiden names even after they remarried – especially when they’re second or third wives!” said Thelma. “Some boyfriends I’ve had since my divorce have said they feel awkward about me still being called by my married name and would prefer to think of me as a Miss – untainted by carrying a long-ago ex’s name. I once thought fleetingly of changing to my maiden name. I had a go at a signature I haven’t used for over 40 years and it felt as if 1 was using an alias – as if that person is not me any more …. “

Coping With The Mixed Feelings In Your Relationship

Both of you have now given away greater and greater chunks of your life rewriting label on your time from “mine” to ours. It’s the beginning of commitment. If this becomes a crisis in your romance, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the romance was wrong, you can have the right romance, feel deep love and commitment yet find yourself in a stage that is paralysing. The opposite is true too. Just because the two of you have no doubts does not necessarily mean that you’ve chosen right.

Poorly matched, ill-suited and immature couples can find it as easy to leap into marriage as two people who’ve learned to love and accept each other. The crisis of commitment is likely to be a reflection of your true feelings about marriage itself rather than about your partner. If you don’t have at least some mixed feelings about marriage, you have appreciated its realities. The fear of commitment is often the fear of losing control of your life. Suddenly, the autonomy of being single looks attractive.

A bad first marriage – a bitter divorce battle, poor relationship or images of either parent can all make people fight shy of commitment. According to Judith Sills, a relationship expert, there are three different options for coping with a partner’s fear of commitment.

Don’t take no for an answer: A bold strategy will only work if love, which is strong can be seen as separate from ability to make a commitment. The partner pursuing need to remember not to take reaction personally.

Convince, don’t insist: In order to convince, you need to feel what you have is worth fighting for. The man or woman resisting commitment needs endless reassurance and persuasion.

Give an ultimatum: The classic “take control” approach to a relationship is bogged down on the road to marriage, “marry me, or I’m leaving,” is a high risk approach. If you say it, you must have to be prepared to leave – when your bluff is called.

Finally, when you do marry, keep one important myth at mind. Marriage is not an end point. It is a beginning. Your happiness does not depend entirely on your choice of partner life. Rest mainly on what you and your partner create. Like the relief of appreciating that much of the pain involved in forming a relationship is not meant personally, so it helps to know that much of the joy of marriage is also subject to your own influence.

Two dead after double-decker hits supermarket.Drive Hot News

An eight-year-old boy and a woman thought to be in her 70s have died after a double-decker bus crashed into a supermarket in Coventry city centre, West Midlands Police have said.

The boy, a passenger on the top deck of the bus, and the woman, a pedestrian, both died at the scene.

A nine-year-old girl is also seriously ill in hospital, while six others, including the bus driver, were hurt.

The bus collided with stationary cars before hitting the Sainsbury's store.

Police have not commented on what caused the crash, which happened in Trinity Street at about 18:00 BST on Saturday.

A number of people were trapped on the bus's top deck, police added.

Specialist officers are supporting the families of the boy, from Leamington, and the woman, from Nuneaton.A West Midlands Ambulance Service spokesman said the nine-year-old girl had injuries to her face, head and right leg and suspected chest, abdominal and pelvic injuries. She remains in a critical but stable condition at Birmingham Children's Hospital.

Five people were treated at University Hospital Coventry and Warwickshire - the bus driver, a man in his 50s, with neck and shoulder injuries; a man in his 20s with a broken arm; a man with a minor leg injury; a woman in her 60s with leg and arm injuries, and a man with a minor injury. Another person was treated at the scene.

All but one of the five have been discharged from hospital.

Stagecoach Midlands said the bus was on the X18 service from Coventry to Leamington.

Road closures were put in place after the crash while police carried out investigations but have now been lifted.Police Supt Paul Keasey said: "We hope to carry out a swift investigation and I would like to thank people who have already come forward who witnessed the collision.

"This is a busy area of Coventry city centre and we hope to keep disruption to a minimum as our investigation continues; no-one has been arrested at this stage."

"Everyone was just screaming and there were two kids trapped at the top of the vehicle," he said.

SEVEN REASONS WHY NAIROBI WOMEN REMAIN SINGLE.Drive Hot News

If you have spoken with a Nairobi woman long enough, then you have heard her whine that there are no good men left for marriage.

What she doesn’t seem to realize is that it is the marriageable women that are in short supply. Here are reasons why the Nairobi woman remains single:

1. You drink too much

The Nairobi woman seems to have taken talk from men who say that they have respect for a woman who can sit alone in a bar too seriously.

True, being able to buy your own drink may make you appear confident. For a man who is looking for a serious relationship however, a drunk, slurring woman is an utterly unattractive sight. No man wants to be in a relationship with, much less marry, a woman who outdrinks him.

2. Offering sex without commitment

With the feminist liberation movements, women have made a lot of strides in the society. It is this feeling of liberation that has seen many urban women being liberal with their bodies.

It may be very liberating to be able to have no strings attached sex with a man, but it does not do any favors to your love life.

How do you expect the men you date to value you or your body when you do not appear to value it yourself? He will only put a ring on it if he values it.

3. You have no idea what it takes

The Nairobi woman is doing well for herself. She’s had a good education and holds a great job. For these reasons, she feels entitled to a good man and a great relationship.

The point that she is missing is that the qualities that make you a star employee are not the same ones that make a woman a good wife.

Try working on your personality. Your CV will not attract you a husband.

4. You are lazy

Technology has made amazing transformations in our lives. You can order meals, movies or even the cleaning lady all from the comfort of your couch. Everyone relies on these modern day conveniences at one point or the other.

If you are seeking a serious relationship however, you will actually need to get off your ass. To start with, to be able to meet a man, you actually need to get out of the house.

Second, before he can think of a relationship leading to the altar, a man needs to see proof that you can actually run a home. After all has been said and done, the man’s role is provision while the woman’s is nurturing.

You need to be able to do more than boiling an egg. Learn how to make a good, firm sufuria of ugali.

5. You are the hunters

Men also enjoy being hunted. You must have heard this said at least once. There is no problem with being a woman who knows what she wants. The problem with the Nairobi woman is that this is all she does.

She is used to walking up to men in bars, on the streets or even in the office. Because of this, she tends to be too assertive and brash which is unattractive. Deny this they might, but men still enjoy the thrill of the chase. So let them.

6. You are too picky

So you have this long list of the things you want the man of your dreams to have and to do for you. You want him tall, dark and handsome, to drive a particular car, to hold a certain job and to say particular things to you.

The men you meet do not meet the standards so you just sit and whine about it. The truth is that the Mr. Perfect you are waiting for doesn’t exist. It isn’t about dropping your standards altogether but lowering them. Ask yourself, are you perfect?

7. You denounced family over career

A college education is a good thing. It will open many doors for you. It however will not be a good thing if that is all you pay attention to in your twenties when you are young, pretty and marriageable.

You will get those degrees and the corner office and you will be happy for and while and then you won’t.

By the time you realize this, you are too old for marriage. You do not have to choose between the two, you have space for both in your life

8. You blame men for everything

The Nairobi woman is bitter. For everything that goes wrong in her life, she blames the men in her life. They may be to blame for some things but they can’t be to blame for everything.

This attitude is the wrong foundation of any healthy relationship. The minute you take charge and start taking responsibility for your mistakes, you will be on your way to a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

Towering Inferno director John Guillermin dies at 89.Drive Hot News

The Towering Inferno starred two of the biggest box office stars in the world, Steve McQueen and Paul Newman

British director John Guillermin, whose films included The Towering Inferno and Death on the Nile, has died aged 89.

The Towering Inferno, released in 1974, won three Oscars and starred Paul Newman, Steve McQueen, William Holden and Faye Dunaway.

Guillermin's action-packed 1976 version of King Kong, starred Jeff Bridges and Jessica Lange.

He died on Sunday at his home in the Topanga Canyon area of Los Angeles, his friend Nick Redman confirmed.

In a statement, Guillermin's wife Mary called him "sensitive and passionate, full of a fierce rapture himself."

Born in London to French parents, Guillermin attended the University of Cambridge before joining the Royal Air Force.

His career directing began in France with documentary film-making. In 1950, he moved to Hollywood to study film-making methods.

Following the success of disaster films such as Airport and The Poseidon Adventure, Guillermin assembled a star-studded cast for The Towering Inferno.

The movie, still regarded as a classic of the genre, about a fire that breaks out on the 81st floor of a shoddily-built skyscraper starred McQueen and Newman - two of the biggest film stars of the day.

Known for his big budget adventures, Guillermin also had a reputation of being a difficult man to work with. In his memoirs, film editor Ralph E Winters, described an incident he witnessed when he worked with Guillermin on King Kong.

'Irascible streak'

In the screening room, Winters said a frustrated Guillermin kicked the seat in front until it broke. He received an apologetic phone call the next day.

In his 1995 autobiography, Charlton Heston, who worked with the director on 1972's Skyjacked, described him as having an "irascible streak".

For 1978's adaptation of Agatha Christie's Death on the Nile, Guillermin assembled a cast of top acting talent.

Peter Ustinov played the legendary sleuth Hercule Poirot alongside David Niven, George Kennedy and Angela Lansbury.

He won the Evening Standard British Film Award in 1980 for the movie.

His final film was the Kong sequel King Kong Lives in 1986.