Can you ever really tell when someone is lying? Well yes you can, says body language expert Judi James...
There are many ways to tell if someone is lying, but body language is complicated and mannerisms you think are obvious ‘tells’ might actually be proof of the truth.
Are you beig lied to? (REX)
Are you beig lied to? (REX)
PUTTING A LIE UNDER A MICROSCOPE
The more you put someone under scrutiny the harder it is for them to act naturally. So whether they’re lying or telling the truth, their mannerisms will most likely change.
The more you put someone under scrutiny the harder it is for them to act naturally. So whether they’re lying or telling the truth, their mannerisms will most likely change.
Weirdly - if someone is a very good liar, they may well be more convincing than someone who is not lying and is desperate to convince you of that.
SIGNS SOMEONE’S LYING
If "tells" are unreliable then how can you know if someone is fibbing to you?
If "tells" are unreliable then how can you know if someone is fibbing to you?
Body language is not a precise science, but telling a lie is a very complex procedure, so if you’re not practised at it, it’s hard!
Little lies are hard to catch, but bigger lies can cause pressure in the body, that can mimic symptoms of stress.
Brief, intense bursts of stress like this can produce any or all of these body language traits, but they should always be evaluated in tandem with the verbal messages and read in as much context as possible:
• Talking too much
Are they going over the top in their bid to be convincing? A liar will often go too far in their attempt to be believed. This can entail verbal diarrhoea: Giving more details than are really necessary, and over-performed hand gestures or eye contact.
Are they going over the top in their bid to be convincing? A liar will often go too far in their attempt to be believed. This can entail verbal diarrhoea: Giving more details than are really necessary, and over-performed hand gestures or eye contact.
An honest person will usually reveal some subtle displays of the palms of the hands, but a liar will usually over-display in an exaggerated shrug.
The liar will also tend to repeat phrases like ‘I’m being honest with you now’ or ‘I’m telling the truth’ that would be unnecessary if they actually were.
• Incongruence
When we’re being honest, our body language will tell the same story as our words, but when we lie the two forms of communication can go out off kilter. This could lead to responses like smiling while saying sorry, or using dismissive hand gestures while pretending they care deeply.
When we’re being honest, our body language will tell the same story as our words, but when we lie the two forms of communication can go out off kilter. This could lead to responses like smiling while saying sorry, or using dismissive hand gestures while pretending they care deeply.
• Pseudo-infantile displays
Some liars have grown up in a relationship of colluded lies, meaning one or both parents would by amused by or forgiving of bad behaviour if a lie display was ‘cute’.
Some liars have grown up in a relationship of colluded lies, meaning one or both parents would by amused by or forgiving of bad behaviour if a lie display was ‘cute’.
Small children often do look cute when they lie and adults will often laugh as a result. This can mean a lifetime of employing ‘cute’ body language as the lie is told, in a bid to be forgiven even if the lie is found out.
• Changes in breathing patterns
When the liar feels guilt or is performing their lie under pressure the added stress can make their breathing more shallow and frequent. The adrenalin buzz of the lie will also raise their vocal pitch, and both of these symptoms can be heard over the phone as well as spotted face-to-face.
When the liar feels guilt or is performing their lie under pressure the added stress can make their breathing more shallow and frequent. The adrenalin buzz of the lie will also raise their vocal pitch, and both of these symptoms can be heard over the phone as well as spotted face-to-face.
The burst of adrenalin can also make swallowing slightly difficult or dry the mouth, causing lip licking, and it can prompt an accelerated blink rate.
Hiding behind hands could be a sign of lying (REX)
Hiding behind hands could be a sign of lying (REX)
• Cut-offs
Even though it might just be a symptom for shyness, the desire to face or even eye-cover will increase during a lie. This leads to putting a hand to the face to mask a feature like the mouth; looking away, or allowing hair to fall over the eyes to hide the eye expression. (Which is why poker players often wear eye shades and sunglasses at the card table).
Even though it might just be a symptom for shyness, the desire to face or even eye-cover will increase during a lie. This leads to putting a hand to the face to mask a feature like the mouth; looking away, or allowing hair to fall over the eyes to hide the eye expression. (Which is why poker players often wear eye shades and sunglasses at the card table).
However, always remember the over-congruent option: a liar who is putting conscious effort into their performance will often go too far in the opposite direction. I have seen criminals being questioned by the police who will stare bare-faced as they speak, using prolonged bouts of almost unblinking eye contact!
• The long pause
The body needs a few moments to prepare itself to perform a lie, meaning there will often be a longer pause than usual before a question is answered.
The body needs a few moments to prepare itself to perform a lie, meaning there will often be a longer pause than usual before a question is answered.
During this gap the liar’s brain is trying to suppress the honest answer; come up with the dishonest one, and finally work out how to perform it in a style that looks genuine.
A habitual liar will often deflect the question to allow for more time to prepare for the role, using phrases like: ‘Are you really asking me if I have cheated on you? Do you really believe I could do a thing like that to you?’ etc. By deflecting the question they will also defect the stress, trying to throw the pressure of answering onto you rather than them.
• The Possum technique
A liar will usually be aware of the challenge of producing honest-looking body language signals and might plan to keep still instead, to avoid giving anything away.
A liar will usually be aware of the challenge of producing honest-looking body language signals and might plan to keep still instead, to avoid giving anything away.
Going too still and becoming suddenly and oddly monosyllabic should give the game away though, just as much the other extreme of talking too much or waving their hands around. I’ve seen liars adopt a poker face under questioning, and even sit on their hands to avoid coming up with any body language ‘leakage’.
The Truth... heart of it? (Giphy)
The Truth... heart of it? (Giphy)
• An increase in self-comfort touches
The liar who feels guilt or pressure from their own lies will often try to self-comfort for reassurance, meaning fiddling with hair, nails or jewellery. Metronomic gestures might also increase, like a tapping foot or pen, or rocking slightly as they speak.
The liar who feels guilt or pressure from their own lies will often try to self-comfort for reassurance, meaning fiddling with hair, nails or jewellery. Metronomic gestures might also increase, like a tapping foot or pen, or rocking slightly as they speak.
• Brush-away gestures
Another common gesture during a lie is the ‘brush-away’ grooming gesture, where the liar will subconsciously be trying to brush the lie off themselves while they are talking. They might pick at and brush at their trousers or skirt or even jacket sleeves if they are sitting, or wipe their hands and then flick them slightly as thought making the guilt go away.
Another common gesture during a lie is the ‘brush-away’ grooming gesture, where the liar will subconsciously be trying to brush the lie off themselves while they are talking. They might pick at and brush at their trousers or skirt or even jacket sleeves if they are sitting, or wipe their hands and then flick them slightly as thought making the guilt go away.
• A ‘bit of business'
When an actor is involved in a tense, dramatic scene they will often use what they call a ‘Bit of business’ to keep their hands busy, which can include anything from lighting cigarettes to potting plants or packing bags on stage to avoid getting stuck for the convincing gesture or facial expression. A liar will often use the same device, staring at the TV or their iPhone or continuing to work to keep their body language busy while performing their lie.
When an actor is involved in a tense, dramatic scene they will often use what they call a ‘Bit of business’ to keep their hands busy, which can include anything from lighting cigarettes to potting plants or packing bags on stage to avoid getting stuck for the convincing gesture or facial expression. A liar will often use the same device, staring at the TV or their iPhone or continuing to work to keep their body language busy while performing their lie.
• Eye movement
This response doesn’t occur every time, but a person who is telling the truth will often access the recalled memory part of their brain by glancing up and to their own left as they speak. Looking up and to the right can suggest creative thinking though, which could mean lying!
• Distraction techniques
A sexual cheat or liar will often try to distract the person who is confronting them by using the same values that prompted them to cheat in the first place.
This response doesn’t occur every time, but a person who is telling the truth will often access the recalled memory part of their brain by glancing up and to their own left as they speak. Looking up and to the right can suggest creative thinking though, which could mean lying!
• Distraction techniques
A sexual cheat or liar will often try to distract the person who is confronting them by using the same values that prompted them to cheat in the first place.
They were forced into lying by sexual urges so they will try to force you into backing down or forgiving via the same motivator. This means they will try to hug you or make sexual advances during the lie. If it worked for them they think it might just work for you too!
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