Regardless of the fact that nobody enjoys being lied to, it seems that lying within all types of relationships is common, and is thereby often forgiven or overlooked. While it’s true that most of us are guilty of a little white lie now and again, relationships that are plagued with frequent lies can easily become hurtful and destructive.
Women often tell horror stories about how they’ve been lied to in past relationships, but the truth is that women are as guilty of lying as men, although perhaps for different reasons. And sometimes their lies are more personal and hurtful. Chris Rock hit the nail on the head when he declared that “men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.” In any case, defining a lie and deciding how it should be dealt with often depends on what the basis for the lie is.
While some lies have obvious causes and can therefore be dealt with in a straightforward way, other lies have much more elusive justifications that can make it difficult to know how to respond.
Although there can sometimes seem to be a legitimate reason for lying, it is nonetheless an unhealthy and damaging habit. For this reason, it’s a good idea to reevaluate any relationship in which there’s been dishonesty. Read on for some of the most common reasons women feel the need to lie to you, and what you should do to get around it.
She wants to spare your feelingsIf there’s something about you that she doesn’t like, she may think that it’s preferable to keep you in the dark about it. Although this is a lie spoken with a generous heart, if she never tells you the things that bother her, she might start to resent you, which could spell the end of the relationship.
What you should do: Assess what the intention behind the lie was and how it reflects on her. Is she so insecure that she couldn’t come to you with the problem? Or is she just waiting for the right time to blow you off? If the lie is serious and affects the foundation of your relationship, then it’s time to cut the ties. If, however, it’s a minor problem in an otherwise solid structure, face the situation head-on and make it clear that lying is not an option in the future.
She wants to make herself look goodThis type of lie is often told because it makes her seem more glamorous or successful. Although this might seem like a harmless attempt to make people like her, it can be a sign of a more devious personality.
What you should do: If she lied to you to try to impress you, you might feel flattered. On the other hand, this is a deliberate and mischievous lie, the sort that could denote an underhanded person. Be aware that she might tell lies about you to make you seem more glamorous to outsiders. Also, ask yourself what she might do to get ahead, and whether she’d leave you at the drop of a hat for somebody who is higher on the social ladder.