Saturday, 4 October 2014

How to social-media-proof your relationship

Social media has been invaluable in keeping people connected.
Social media has been invaluable in keeping people connected.

The flip side is that it can if left unchecked, it can cause friction in many ways ranging from one being addicted to social media to one partner’s social media activity triggering feelings of insecurity in the other.
Here are tips on how to strike a balance  and also how to interact with your love interest online;
When someone flirts with him – The trick usually is learning to see the posts on his profile for what they are and not for what they aren’t.
To interact with your partner on social media you need trust. This way, you will be able to see all those likes and comments on his photos as compliments to you that you are with such a good-looking or witty man.
Cut him some slack - Remember that your man has no control over what other people write on his wall, and pay attention only to his responses.
If you find yourself boiling over a comment that another person made pause and think: Is it the comment that got to you or is it your own insecurities?
Similarly, your man had a life before you met and there may be pictures of him looking happy with an ex out there on the net. You can’t berate him for having a past.
Benefit of doubt – Seeing as you do not get to see the other person’s facial expression or their tone when they post something there is always room for misinterpretation on social media.
If you see a picture of him with another woman or a comment from a woman saying that yesterday was great, before you lash out, ask him to explain.
Giving your man the benefit of doubt when it comes to social media will serve your relationship better. Don’t make accusations, ask directly.
Setting boundaries – Set ground rules from the onset so that social media does not become a source of friction to begin with.
Discuss about the things that either of you can or can’t share about your relationship. If one of you values their privacy, then the other partner should respect and be aware of the other individual’s comfort zones. Talking about it will eliminate the grey areas.
Going offline – The Internet can prove to be of great help in keeping connected especially in a long-distance relationship.
However, if you get to see your significant other more often, make sure that time spent together is well spent by going offline so that you can reconnect in person. You can set rules together like having no phones in bed or during dinner.
It’s not always healthy – Regardless of whether or not you trust each other, social media generally isn’t healthy for relationships.
There is too much leeway for issues to be misinterpreted and for partners to read too much into things.
If you are able to, you might consider staying out of each other’s social media pages and instead focusing on your offline relationship.
Also, be careful not to substitute offline affection with Facebook affection. Whether or not you gushed about him on Facebook, he needs to hear it and see it in your actions. 
If you need to remain friends on social media, refrain from sharing an account because as much as you are an item, each of you is an individual. Merging all sections of your life may make you lose this individuality