Rita’s dilemma: “I had a huge fight with my guy. He said he was out having a drink with a friend. That was totally okay after all I was out with my girls. What he did not say though was that this friend was a really hot female.
“That too would have been okay until I got to club and there on the dance floor, grinding each other was my man and his super-hot friend. I was pissed and made a huge scene. He said she is just a friend! And no, he does not and never will wanna have sex with her. He also told me if I over react like that again, he was not staying around to deal with my jealousy.”
What does it really mean when your man says she is just a ‘friend’? Is it appropriate to ask what kind of ‘friend’? Friend with benefi ts, perhaps?
Some husbands and boyfriends have good friendships with females, granted. But at what point exactly are the wives and girlfriends expected to draw the line?
Telephone calls at odd hours
In the pre-Internet/smartphone age, with the phone in the hallway, a call after 10:00pm was an emergency — like an accident or a death in the family. Nowadays you can send or receive a text or an email at any time of the day or night. So she picks odd hours like midnight or 2:00am to call your man. And he takes the call in the other room; out of hearing range.
“That was my friend Nina, she needed my help with something!” he would say.
Your man’s male friends do not call past 10:00pm except on football night, but the female friend thinks it is okay to call at 2:00am when she knows your woman is home?
At a certain hour you have to say “not now”. Three is company, two is a crowd Let us put it this way, if we had it our way; the only females in our man’s life would be his mother, sisters and daughters. But we cannot have it our way, so we compromise.
But that does not mean that we will not be worried when there is this female in our man’s life that just seems to always be there.
She is privy to all our secrets, he confides in her even before he talks to you when he has a problem. He is constantly out with her. Women are cool with their guy going out with females in a group setting, but not with just one female friend and on a more than regular basis.
“I do not mind a female co-worker bringing my man the occasional gift, but if he is constantly receiving things from her, I am majorly concerned,” says Cynthia.
Female friends are nothing to be scared of, but we, women, are wired to treat every female in our man’s life as a threat until proven innocent.