Sunday, 7 April 2013


Red Pepper Online

 Kicker: Hyena Bonks First Cut On Ssenga’s Grave!
I may have told you this before but in Runyakitara we have a saying that ‘a good story never grows old’. Some years back, I went to Hoima for what we call ‘okuturukya orufu’ (last funeral rites). Yasmine was busy with books so I traveled alone. At the lumbe, I tried to keep a low profile and some how I succeeded.

As food was being served, some babe jumped at me excitedly, “Hyena! I’ve been asking about you, where have you been all this time!”
She was Akiiki, my childhood shaftmate and I remember very well because I broke her virginity. She caused a scene by the way because of her excitement and everybody turned to look at me. I remembered those days when she would fight other girls she suspected of doing things with me. Just looking at me would award someone a slap. But her family was so ‘anti- Hyena’. They beat us each chance they got. Well, here we were adults, she ran, brought 3 children introducing them to me as her kids. She introduced me to over 20 babes telling them that this is him.

She sounded like I was Jesus in a short time. She wanted to know where and with whom I had been over the years. I pulled out my wallet, showed her Yasmine’s photo telling her she was the Saudi Arabian High Commissioner’s daughter. So much in love with me to the point of beating half of Kampala babes she suspects of loving me.
“Who wouldn’t, why was I beating girls at school and around the villages”? Akiiki asked. We talked about a lot of things and at around 8pm, she asked me to accompany her to her place.

So off we went taking a shortcut through a grave yard. Strangely, as we walked past so many graves, I got the hardest hard-on of the year! I grabbed her, pulled her down to a grave, and just by coincidence, it was her Ssenga’s.
This very woman was so anti-hyena and here was my chance to get back at her. Akiiki protested saying it was inhuman to bonk on people’s graves but it was too late. The whopper was already inside her.

“Oh, darling Hyena, you are soooo sweeeet….” I had to be fast because we were in a really strange place so I fixed half the whopper inside her. I wonder what her Aunt down in the grave was feeling as her niece was up screaming the erotic songs she had taught her. She was still as sweet as the last time I bonked her. It felt as if she hadn’t been bonked in a long time! Her ‘thing’ was so tight.

We turned her auntie’s grave into her our own mazongoto, rolling and going round it. Amidst all that enjoyment, as orgasm was gathering from all corners of my body, we heard an alarm. We jumped as Akiiki pushed me off with so much force. She took off with her gomesi in the hand as I also ran for my dear life. It reminded me of Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’. As we ran, I realized that the ghost we were running away from was right in my waist.

That’s when I noticed I had been a fool, it was my Erickson 1018. I had been with it the whole day but it hadn’t rang since morning. You see it loses network so I guess it found network suddenly. I caught up with Akiiki and told her what had happened. We went to her place and she prepared for me a special meal after which we went to her kid brother’s hut and she faced the music. I did the things I failed to do to her when we were still kids.
She couldn’t believe all the things I was doing to her. From then onwards she either travels to Kampala every weekend or I take for her the whopper. The first cut will always be the deepest indeed.
Till then, I remain yours truly, the mighty Hyena.

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