In particular, a partner who feels that he/she is being sacrificed might become resentful and begin to detach from the other. This could lead to more problems, including infidelity. FILE PHOTO
Consider this very sad, and yet common scenario. Boy meets girl; both have recently graduated from college, and are deeply in love and enjoying every bit of their relationship.
They get a baby, and the struggle begins. However, the man’s small business finally begins to do well. At first, they are happy, since money is no longer a problem.
Soon however, the happiness fizzles out. The man is no longer around, and barely spends time with his wife and child.
When she complains, he calls her ungrateful. In her unhappiness, she begins to spend more and more time alone, and is no longer in touch with her friends.
She wonders what happened to the man who took her down the aisle in a borrowed suit.
Sounds familiar; right? What should be the relationship between love and financial success? Let me share a few thoughts on why this discord takes place.
It starts with spending less time together. Usually, especially at the beginning, it is considered bearable as the man or woman settles down either in a new job or managing a business.
Over time, however, it begins to negatively affect the relationship as the couple becomes more distant.
MIGHT BECOME RESENTFUL...
In particular, a partner who feels that he/she is being sacrificed might become resentful and begin to detach from the other. This could lead to more problems, including infidelity.
Another challenge is when someone knowingly or unknowingly dissociates with their social networks of friends and family, sometimes forcing the other partner to choose between his/her partner and friends or family.
This partner wins most of the time, but the affected spouse begins to feel resentful in his or her loneliness.
The next challenge is money, which is unfortunate because that is what we all work so hard to attain. For people who have struggled for a long time, like the couple in our story, money should bring relief, not grief.
But this is not always the case, and stories abound of great relationships that have been ruined by new-found riches. So, what really is the issue here? In my opinion, a bad attitude towards other people, including a partner, is really the issue; not money.
Our country is moving forward economically, and the so called ‘new middle-class’, largely composed of young and middle aged people, is rapidly expanding.
Allow me then to sound a warning that as this happens, relationships will come under increasing pressure, and the only way out is for us to become deliberate about building strong relationships alongside creating wealth. Here are a few tips on how to do this.
First, do not fall into the trap of ‘let me settle down first’ because the likelihood is that you will never really settle down.
SPEND TIME WITH YOUR SPOUSE
Plan to spend time with your partner in the midst of your busy schedule.
Second, watch over your attitude in regard to money, and never use it as the gauge for other people’s worth, because it isn’t.
Hard as you might have worked for your money, neither your partner nor any other person for that matter, can ever be measured on the same scale with money.
Third, keep your social networks alive. It is important to realise that work-related relationships serve their purpose as long as you are at work.
Unfortunately, many people only discover this fact when they lose their job, only to realise that they had no friends, only business associates.
My challenge to the newly rich is to consider this as their second aisle, which they need to walk down together, not alone.
Whether you walk, run or fly down this aisle, hold your partner tight, lest you lose them on your flight up.
Real happiness does not come from money, it emanates from the relationships we forge along the way.